Are You Really Ready for Your...Declaration of Independence?
By Lee Nelson
You’re 18, and this is your first time away from your family. No longer do you have your own, private bedroom or someone at home to rely on to wake you up or tell you to do homework. Welcome to college, where you are officially on your own! You now have roommates to contend with, along with the freedom to do as you please.
Some students handle that independence beautifully, without faltering on their classes or doing things they know they shouldn’t do.
Others need some help in growing up and being responsible for themselves. A lot of that preparation can take place years before -- in the home, at school and in the community.
High schools and middle schools offer classes in cooking; personal finance; human relationships; time management; leisure activities; and other useful skills to get teen-agers more accustomed to being on their own, once they leave for college or for their own jobs and lives.
Evelyn Campbell, dean and vice president of Student Services at Augustana College in Rock Island, Ill., said that many “college track” students don’t have the time to take some of these classes. She suggests that parents help out, in terms of skill development in laundry and finances, and have conversations about alcohol use and other topics as their sons and daughters talk about college.
“I also think small group discussions for college-bound students could be held after school to discuss relevant issues during the spring term of their senior year. They could talk about what it takes to be successful; getting involved; alcohol use; and other things.”
She feels the biggest problems facing freshmen in college is time management. Before they were on their own, parents or the school organized their day.
“Students will fritter away time and when they are ready for bed, they often haven’t done homework or started on a paper that is due five days down the road.”
Everyone reads the headlines of college kids over-indulging in booze. “Young people want to fit in, and they come to college believing the myth that ‘everyone drinks.’ So, although many students would refrain from drinking or drink less, they feel pressure to go to parties and consume alcohol,” Campbell added.
It’s a tough decision, but kids can stand up to peer pressure in college just as they did in high school. But they should get involved and get connected with their college in groups, clubs and dorm and campus activities.
“We don’t want students just attending class. We want them engaged in the whole education. They need to know when to ask questions and how to get help when needed.”
Carrin Martin doesn’t want to see freshmen or transfer students get lost in the crowd at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. She coordinates a program called SOAR – Student Orientation Advising and Registration. The school has more than 40,000 students – 28,000 of them being undergraduate students.
“When they come here in the summer for orientation, their head is in a different place than when they visited before. What we hope they get out of it is comfort – not that they will know their way around after a day. But they will start to meet other students and understand that there will be people they can be comfortable with and get to know.”
During orientation, the staff talks with the students and their parents about taking personal responsibility and making good decisions.
“We try to get them to think how life will be once they are not with their parents. While the university is here to support them, it is not the parent,” she added.
Questions will arise day after day such as “Should I stay in the dorm and study or go out with friends?” “Should I sleep in and skip my 8 a.m. class?”
“The key is to start early with children. Every family is different. But it makes sense to make teen-agers have specific responsibilities, such as making sure their soccer uniform is clean the night before a game or getting themselves up every morning for school,” said Martin.
Teaching a child about basic skills with money, budgets and an allowance can help, too. So many college students get caught up in the credit card game, and get into so much debt.
“Teach them that good communication and problem-solving last a lifetime. They need to learn to express themselves and stand up for themselves in a respectful way. With all those skills at hand, college should come much easier and smoother,” she added.
High school counselor Linda VanderLeest sees many of her students get prepared for the trials and tribulations of college by actually taking tougher college courses during their senior year in high school.
“It is very critical for students to learn how to study as a college freshman,” said the counselor from Geneseo, Ill., High School.
More than 10 percent of the 2007 graduating class at her high school will have already completed their college freshman English course. The school has a strong connection with nearby Black Hawk College. An adjunct teacher comes to the high school to teach the advanced English students. They receive college credit once they have completed the course.
The part of the parents, she feels, is helping the students understand how to set up a good environment for learning in the home.
“Some kids tell you they work better with the radio on. They are kidding themselves. Helping them manage those things now is very critical. It is about distractions and how to maintain them.”
